16 January 2012

Ugh, tomorrow.

So, tomorrow is the day I get to see Frank. The first day for a 16 week emotional ride. I'm pretty sure he hates me. I'm going to have to deal with him showing favor towards other people while I'm a piece of shit. I wish he'd talk to me. I wish we could have our friendship back. I wish he'd talk to me again, that we could start over. I wish he didn't lie to me by telling me he'd be my friend forever.

My anxiety level is quite high right now. I almost want to cry. I don't want to look into his eyes. I want to be invisible. I just want to get through the next 16 weeks without becoming depressed because of this shit. Watching Sam Kinison is only reminding me more of him. He liked Kinison. At least I'm getting a laugh once in awhile.

Tomorrow's going to suck.

13 January 2012

4 Days

4 days until classes begin. 4 days until I have to see Frank again. That's really pushing the anxiety level up considering how things went South last year. I'll have to see him 2 days a week for an hour and a half at a time. There's no getting out of it. On top of that I have to deal with him next Spring semester too. I wish he would accept my apologies for going psychobitch... but he won't. He never wants to talk to me again... which is my fault. I lost a good friend in him and it still hurts. I wish we were friends again, but I don't see that happening as he told me never to contact him again.  I really don't know how to handle this and it's driving me nuts.