09 December 2012

Life is what you make of it...

The Holidays are what you make of them.

If you want the holidays to suck, they're going to suck. If you expect it to suck, it's going to suck. Stop projecting negative into your life, and start projecting positive.

Take, for example, myself and the holidays. Fated enemies with a blood feud. I hated the holidays. I knew it was just going to be Dad bitching and bitching which was followed by Mom bitching and just ruining the whole day.

This year is different. I am determined that these holidays aren't going to suck. I'm calling it "Operation NO SUCKAGE." OK not really, but I am going to make this the best holiday season I've had in my entire 32 years of life.

My secret?

My outlook.

Thanksgiving Day and the following week and 2 days sucked for me. It left me in a quick but not so painless depression. It was vicious. It sucked balls.

But, you know what? I have a secret weapon: the memories that were made the night before.

In my brain I am forcefully replacing the negative memories I associate with Thanksgiving 2012 with positive memories with the same brain association.

Now, I look back and think "This was the best Thanksgiving I've had in a long time." Last year, I would have still been pissed about the roll fiasco drama. This year... no stinkin' thinkin' allowed.

Dads bitching is going to be replaced with the smile he gets when he finds out he has presents and he didn't pay for them. It's going to be replaced by his laughter when he sees what it is. The family drama isn't going to affect me because I'm not going to be around it. Positive vibes only from here on out.

I actually put up a Christmas tree. Every ornament I used except for 1 was made by Mom. The angel that tops the tree was passed to me from her.

Dad bought me the tree (because my credit card sucks). He doesn't see how much it means to me. Yes it was $40 for the tree, lights, a nutcracker dude and a couple of villagers for a village mantle scene. Oh, and ketchup. The most important thing on the list lol. But to me, the tree is priceless because of the sentimental value.

I assembled the tree. I fluffed the tree. I strung it with lights and garland and I hung ornaments. I decided this is how I will honor my mother's life... with a Christmas tree.

I could remember all of the horrible Christmases filled with yelling, screaming and crying...
I could remember the peaceful Christmases that Mom and I valued. I can still hear the "Oh you didn't have to get me anything" as she unwraps her gift with the biggest smile she could have on her face.
I could remember the quick little grin on Dad's face as he opens the new knife, tools or underwear I bought him.
I could remember getting presents for and from my cats, Santa, Mom and Dad.
I could remember baking pies with Dad or helping Mom with her candies and baking.
I could remember hanging garland this year with duct tape because we couldn't get the stapler to work AND both of us going for the duct tape at the same time with no communication between us.

Screams or smiles. Your memories are what you make them out to be.
I'm going for option 2... Smiles.

How 'bout you?

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