Yeah, I've been hit hard by the spirit of the season. I even want to put up the Christmas Tree. I haven't wanted to do that since before Mom died. But, in truth, I miss seeing the tree with its twinkling lights every year. I've been in a baking frenzy and have taken on putting on my own dinner. 3 days of baking for Christmas Eve. But it's all worth it.
The warm feeling I'll get just from being around people I respect, admire and love will be worth it. Preparing an Anglo-American feast for those that I consider safe and fill me with positive energy is actually quite fun. I'm enjoying setting little goals for myself, planning the logistics of when I'm baking what, arming myself with a grocery list... all the way to cooking the meal. The satisfaction I get when I achieve one of the goals or steps is great therapy.
I will have a Merry Christmas this year. I will have my tree decorated. Unfortunately, I have to clean the house now that I'm expecting company. Worth it.