14 February 2012

I Really Need My Abilify

I really need my Abilify. I've been out for like 5 days. Nobody at the Dr. office seems to be overly concerned with calling in a refill to the pharmacy. It's my fuck up that I'm out though. I was used to taking two 5 mg tablets so when I got the 10 mg tabs I kinda kept taking two instead of one so I'm out.

My niece, in continuance of her drama, has cut me out of her life because I treat her like shit and don't want her around unless it's convenient for me. I suppose it's supposed to hurt me. Really it doesn't.

I guess I am an asshole for that. I get really tired of her telling me that she's the only one in the family that doesn't think I'm a piece of shit and her trying to change me, make me more open and caring and all of that shit.

If one really gave a shit about me they would accept the fact that I'm not close to anyone but Dave, and that's only because he's been my boyfriend for almost 7 years. The only other person I remotely let close, and really she was kept at a distance as well, was my mother.

One should accept it that when something is pissing me off or depressing me, I don't want to talk about it unless it's with one of my counselors. Even then sometimes I make them work for their money. I may blog about something but this is my blog and I can say whatever I want here, not many people read it anyway.

One should accept that I have different views on family. We're not the fucking Waltons or Bradys. Our shit's dysfunctional as hell. I'm not a great aunt, nor do I really want to be. It's too much time and effort to be someone's emotional punching bag or go to gal. My role in this family is not to be everyone's best friend but be the truth-bringer, and the truth isn't pretty.

I have other shit to do, like actually graduate college, marry Dave, become a professor of History and live my life to my ideals and passions, not someone elses.

All of that said, Dave gets the result of his CT scan today (he had lymphoma which is supposed to be in remission now) and he sees the diabetic doctor. Hopefully all of his issues are due to diabetes and not lymphoma coming back for another visit.


  1. Replies
    1. When should Dave know about his test??

  2. Thank you for sharing and for being so honest. I can't believe that there isn't any hurry at the doctor's office to refill your prescription. I have bipolar but it has become mild enough that I do not have to worry about medication. Instead, I follow mental techniques from http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-ba. Hopefully you can find something helpful from this website.