31 October 2011
I've been fighting my bipolar all month. The trigger that caused the last post was intense. I don't think I'm quite over it yet. My Shakespeare class was stressing me the fuck out so I dropped it since I was going to fail it anyway. That just means there's that much more pressure to pass it next fall.
My fat ass broke the computer chair. That made me real happy.
I went to the doctor last week to find out I've gotten even fatter and am now up to 263.8 lbs. Record weight for me. That pissed me off. My blood pressure was high at 130 over something which confused me and pissed me off. They drew labs and naturally my blood sugar was high. I just found out about that. That pissed me off. My body is pissing me off.
The doctor took me off of Risperidone and put me on Abilify hoping that medicine is part of the cause of the dramatic weight gain. I switched from Mt. Dew to mostly water... allowing myself a 20 oz of dew a day which is better than 2 liters. I'm doing good to get the entire 20 oz drank though... but have been downing 2-3 liters of water a day.
I started actually using my The Biggest Loser game for my Wii. Made it through the first week. Weigh in is tomorrow. I think Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels are trying to kill me. 30 minutes on "light" is nothing to sneeze at. And it's hardly light exercise if I'm sucking air 2 minutes in. I bowled for 4 hours Friday night with a new friend and bowled 5 games today.
Now if I could get Dad out of the house for an hour on Saturday and Sunday I could get a weekend routine in too. A friend and I are going to start working out 3 days a week while I incorporate bowling 5 games 3 days a week and probably for 4 hours on Friday night. Bowling supposedly burns 164 calories an hour. It's better than nothing, plus it's a fun workout. I'm tempted to weigh in now but I'll wait until tomorrow. I'll be pissed if I gained weight.
Yes I'm kind of manic at the moment as I'm sure you can tell by the rambling incoherence of this post. Maybe one of these days I'll just be normal.