A blog by a rapid-cycling bipolar for other bipolars, friends, family, caregivers, and those with morbid curiosities pertaining to the mentally ill.
22 May 2011
I've remained down lately. I've been really anxious and irritated. The bad dreams are back. I feel like I'm in a dazed rut that I'll never get out of... depression, it's a killer. It grabs hold of your throat and doesn't let go. It reminds you of all of your failures. It tells you things like you're worthless. It makes you feel worthless. It makes you feel psychotic. It makes you wonder if you shouldn't be locked away in the lunatic ward for years and years. Then we have Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It does work for a mind like mine, it just takes more work than other people. It's difficult to differentiate between rational and irrational thinking right now. I guess that's what the take home sheets I got are to help with, figuring out rational from irrational. Lots of my thoughts are irrational at the moment. I still can't see how I'm not a failure.
In good news Dave and I are going great and summer session starts May 31.