31 December 2010
Dear Gold Digging, Using, Abusing Twatwaffles with High Standards
I would just like to thank you for ruining the nice guys for those of us who actually have a heart, a brain, compassion and can appreciate the fine art so to speak. You either turn them into assholes or you burn them so hard they retire into their shell forever.
Their many dealings with your ilk makes it difficult for them to see exactly how much awesomesauce they are, and thus for us real women to convince them of their awesomesauce qualities without them thinking we're 1) a stalker. 2) a lying sack of shit. 3) stupid. 4) will be driven away when we discover the "true horrible person" they are, thus leaving them heartbroken again if they had opened up at all.
Also, please spontaneously combust for expecting so much out of one person, treating them like a slave, nagging at them relentlessly over stupid bullshit, not seeing the man for who he is, and not appreciating, loving, accepting and being loyal to the nice guys.
Relationships and the Female Role in my world:
Side note: I only have 3 rules I expect my significant other to follow: No sex with other men or women. Treat me as an equal. Treat me with respect.
Companionship first and foremost. Lasting, healthy relationships come with finding a companion. You know, one of those weird people who are into a lot of the same things you are, but not one who wants to be up your ass 24/7. That's just annoying. It's even more awesome if you have the same passions. Someone you can actually have conversations with, or be comfortable in silence with. Then again I have "best friend syndrome."
Communication. He's probably not a mind-reader. Men are not known for their ability to take hints either. To me, the most logical thing is to be open and honest. Yes it's a two way street. Men must be open and honest too. You can't honestly expect him to know what emotion you're having, or exactly what is on your mind. That's just a bullshit game IMO, and I have absolutely no use for games.
Understanding. You have to understand your partner; where they've been, how they've been hurt, what makes them tick, and honestly, just understanding gender and generation goes a long way.
Understanding your partner, in my mind, makes it easier to logically think through something that pisses you off (unless it's just blatant being a dickhead). Ex. Men want to fix problems, women just want to bitch and work it out themselves. That's an old point of contention with couples. Just shut up and cut the poor man some slack.
Understanding your partner also shows them that you care enough about them to learn what makes them happy and what triggers the less nice emotions. Learn the bad to avoid the heartache, learn the good to make him feel good. Understanding him also prevents many issues.
Not being a shallow twat. Men are humans too. They may be more detached than females. They may compartmentalize. They may bottle emotions, but unless they are incapable of emotions, they do have them. The world does not revolve around you simply because you are a woman. The worth of a man is not how many diamonds you can get him to splurge on to make you shut up for 10 minutes. The worth of a man lies in his heart. If you don't have the capability of seeing the awesomesauce you're with, you may be with the wrong one, or you may just be a shallow douchebag.
Be ready to give what you expect or get out of him. If you expect him to be there for you emotionally every time you need him, then you had better be there for him every time he needs it. At the very least let him know the door is open to talk to you 24/7. If you expect him to do chores, you better do chores too. You want loyalty? Be loyal to him. You want him to show you compassion? Show him compassion. Give as good as you expect, if not better.
Treat him like he is valued to you, not as an object to use at your will.
Treat him as an intellectual, psychological and emotional equal, not a piece of shit you just stepped in.
Be open and honest, not a lying, using, manipulative bitch.
Love him, admire him, adore him, respect him and be there for him as much as you want it from him.